Month: November 2016

It’s Sunday night and I’m back at my apartment following a 5 day Thanksgiving vacation back home with my family.  The next writing prompt goes over what I believe people around me thank me for.  To go with the holiday spirit, I’d also like to write about what I myself am thankful for.

Note: This post may be very brief and not as thought out as my previous two posts.  The point here is to simply create and put something online and to be okay with that.  I’d like to remove any potential barriers and excuses I may tell myself that will prevent me from building a great writing habit.

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What People Thank Me For

One of the things I feel people appreciate and thank me for is my ability to listen and empathize.  Whether it’s family, friends, coworkers, or strangers, I try to make it a point to understand where someone is coming from and to appreciate the moment and experience we are having.  This allows me to be actively engaged and to identify parts of my life that are similar to what a person is sharing.  This tends to then lead to more in-depth conversations allowing for further understanding of both our differences and similarities.  This ability grants me the opportunity to build positive relationships based on fun, empathy, and the sharing of wisdom/advice.

My positivity and humor is another characteristic that people enjoy and appreciate.  Overall, I tend to be in a positive mood when interacting with the world.  Whether it’s joking around or seeing the bright side of something, people generally will expect a positive source of energy when I’m around.  I take pride in this because for all the perceived negativity in the world, it feels good to know that the people in my life can count on me to be a source of positivity.  (As I’m writing this, I’m noting to myself that my ability to be warm and happy to the external world can and should be used internally when needed.)

Another thing I’d like to add is a quality/trait that I don’t hear too often from others which is the pride/inspiration some feel when they see my life from their perspective.  What I mean by this is that from an external standpoint, I have had people mention that they are proud or inspired by me because I seem “to have things figured out.”  This usually comes from people’s perception of my surface-level life situation (good job/income, independent, young, intelligent, not tied down by any serious situations) or when I share ideas and advice that may come across as “wise beyond my years.”  I want to note this not because I hear this often (I don’t – at least not directly) or because I feel my life is awesome and inspiring (I definitely don’t – although I might benefit from appreciating my self more often).  I’m noting this because this serves as a reminder of what effect I can have on others by making myself as strong as I can be.  While on the surface people may see how I live, act, and behave as a source of pride and inspiration, this effect could be exponentially more powerful if I continue to grow and improve my internal world.  By continuing on this journey of self-development and actualization, and holding myself accountable towards taking action and improving at a good pace, I can design a great life and be the person I want to be.  Doing so will give people around me, especially the ones I’m close with, genuine inspiration that won’t just be a surface-level perception unaligned with my internal world.  Instead it will be a authentic source that people can see, hear, and feel because I am truly aligned and happy with my being and I want to share that with others.

What I think this all ladders up to is connection (which is one of my core values) – embracing people, moments, and experiences in the world with open arms, and a genuine desire to understand and appreciate them.

What I Am Thankful For

On the flip side, I can list many things that I am thankful for in my life.  While I admit I don’t always have a sense of gratitude and appreciation top of mind, I have worked on improving this mindset no matter the situation I am in.  A few things I’m thankful for include:

• My friends and family
• My upbringing and environment
• My mind and body

I mentioned above some things people thank me for, but this appreciation goes both ways.  I am fortunate to have been surrounded by people who care for me and want to see me do well in life – and I was reminded of this by being with my friends and family over the holiday.  Everything from my friends, family, environment, and upbringing have been conducive to where I am today and my ability to move forward in a positive direction.  My mind and body being generally healthy is also worth being thankful for because it is easy to take things for granted when you don’t really know what it’s like to not have it.  Sure, I’ve had my share of negative past experiences, adversity, and regrets, but when it comes to the bigger picture I have a lot of great things to be thankful for (I almost feel a little upset that I haven’t been aware in expressing my thanks enough to others, but the point of this is to be happy and to keep this in mind moving forward 🙂 ).

I think a common thread between these things is that I have been given the luxury of opportunity.  I haven’t had extreme traumas, burdens, or obstacles that couldn’t be overcome.  While I’ve thought that an unintentional consequence of having a positive, comfortable upbringing and situation is that it has led me to being complacent and weaker in certain areas (self-discipline and drive as examples), I should actually view this in another light.  I should see this as a blessing and motivation to do great things for myself and others.  No one should be at fault for being kind and caring towards me, nor should it be a crutch that I have a comfortable living situation without severe adversities holding me down.

In fact, I should be grateful that I am writing this post and talking about the good in my life.  What a luxury it is to have my problems!  To not have to worry about: food, illness, money, supporting a family, or losing a loved one and instead worry about: my life purpose, dream career, and passions (HA! It’s hilariously pathetic in a way).  What a luxury indeed.  This is all the more reason why I should be grateful and happy with where I am now and motivated towards taking right action.  I owe it to  not just myself but to everyone around me that has given me this opportunity.  I’m in a much better position than most to be the best version of myself and if somehow I feel that I’m at a disadvantage because of my great upbringing (as I have sometimes thought to myself) then it is on me to view it in a proactive way and do whatever is necessary to grow and be strong.

Life is good.  People thank me for being who I am, and I am thankful for everyone and everything that made it possible.  One of the best gifts I can give to express my gratitude is to take full advantage of the opportunities in front of me and to be happy and appreciative to others while doing it.

Until next time,

-Matt

It’s been a minute since my last post.  I originally was going to have my first several posts be tied to the Live Your Legend blog challenge, but I’ll save those topics for times when I don’t have something to share.  Instead, today I’d like to write about my spontaneous camping and hiking trip out west to the Shenandoah National Park and some of the insights I gained from the experience.

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I’m back home after a pretty crazy 24 hours…

Yesterday morning I woke up and felt the urge to go outside and explore nature.  I’ve had a lot on my mind lately in regards to things like my career and future, both short and long-term, and it seemed that getting away into nature would be a great way to reground myself.  It’s starting to get pretty chilly in Richmond, but the sky was clear and I knew there would only be a few decent weeks left to be in the outdoors so I began to see assess my options.  My Googling eventually came across information on the Shenandoah National Park and Skyline Drive, areas about two hours west from me and well-known for their scenic mountain views.  After looking at some images of these places I said to myself, “it would sure be nice to go out there and spend some time away from it all – maybe some other weekend.”  I naturally and habitually was able to know that I wasn’t actually going to act upon what I had a desire to do!  There were of course countless rationalizations I could have provided on why it made no sense to travel on my own to the mountains and be in nature, but the fact that those didn’t even need to come up is telling.  Has it become such a habit for me to yearn to do something and not follow through that I didn’t even make a big deal about this instance?  If not now, when!?  Was this feeling to be in nature and reground myself not really important?

Anyway, after deciding what was definitely NOT going to happen on my weekend, I started to go about my day until I quickly received a call.  It was my friend, Caleb.  He was on his way to go camping and needed to stop in Richmond for gas and figured we could grab a drink and catch up while he was in the city.  I agreed and we ended up meeting at a pub down the street from my apartment.  We enjoyed catching up on things while downing a couple beers and started to talk about topics such as careers, relationships, and personal development.  I learned that Caleb also had a lot going on in his mind and was heading out west past Charlottesville to camp out in the mountains and unplug from society for a moment.  I also learned that he was going to the Shenandoah National Park and Skyline Drive area – the very same spots I was thinking about just a couple hours earlier – and he asked if I wanted to join.

I couldn’t believe the chances.  What kind of sign was this that an opportunity like this would present itself?  My mind’s defenses began to kick in with every reason why not to go:

• I need to get my shit together with work and my future
• The Virginia Tech game is on at 3:30
• I need to rest up and prepare for next week
• I can be productive by writing on my blog, reading, and doing personal development by staying home
• I can’t go now – I’m not prepared.  It’s going to be cold, dark, and uncomfortable

I was really on the fence about this, but I just couldn’t say no outright.  My mind was quick to point out why I shouldn’t go, but something else in me just wouldn’t give up.  Whatever this part was – my heart, intuition, whatever – it couldn’t get over the coincidence and fortune that presented itself to me and that I needed to go – so I said yes.

To conclude the trip itself, it ended up being fun, insightful, physically demanding, uncomfortable, exhausting, exhilarating, peaceful, reflective, and more.  Some of the events that occurred include:

• Getting to the mountain as the sun was setting and needing to find and set up a camp before dark.  We had no time to be picky with our site and ended up setting a tent on a cliff off the path
• Creating a pretty epic fireplace
• Deep reflecting in solitude in the woods
• Me suffering in the tent through the night in below-freezing temperatures.  (Lesson learned: sleeping outside next to a fire is better than sleeping in a tent built on top of a cold slab of stone, also get a sleeping bag).
• Hiking up a summit and seeing amazing views of Virginia’s mountains

With that being said, here are some insights and lessons I gained from this experience that I’d like to keep moving forward:

Going with my intuition and heeding the call to adventure

Lately I’ve been researching the power of following one’s intuition and this experience was definitely an example of me following my own.  This experience also ties well to the concept of the Hero’s Journey and how the hero must decide whether or not to heed the call to adventure (hint: the hero should heed the call).

The feeling and knowledge of following my intuition trumps any form of logic that would try to dissuade me from listening to it.  Even when it was cold, dark, and uncomfortable, I still had the awareness to tell myself that this was a great thing to live through.  What’s funny is that all of the so-called “bad” things that I told myself would happen DID happen.  It was tiring, I didn’t get to be at home potentially working on productive things, and the temperature was so cold I couldn’t feel half my body.  In fact, it was hands down one of the most uncomfortable sleeping experiences I’ve had in a long time AND THAT WAS COMPLETELY FINE!  Following my intuition meant that even an extremely negative thing were to happen I would still be confident that I made the right decision for myself.

The Power of Isolation and Solitude

In The Way of the Superior Man, David Deida writes in depth of the importance for a man to restore his purpose by being in solitude, challenging situations, and/or in the company of other men.  A man who is able to eliminate distractions and live at his edge is a man who can experience masculine growth and realignment.

I can attest to what Deida writes based on my time in the wilderness.  The challenges of trying to survive the cold and endure a hike up to a summit allowed me to push towards my edge.  The awe of seeing landscapes that have existed well before me and will continue to exist long after I’m gone put a lot of things into perspective.  The small, petty things that tend to occupy my mind really have no value, and it is necessary to remember the big picture in terms of purpose and the wonder of existence.

To wrap up, what I hope to gain from this is a solid reference experience on what can happen when I choose to follow my intuition.  Regardless of the particular event, decision, or adventure, I want to habitualize trusting my self and not being afraid to go against logic or reason.  I can imagine that cultivating this behavior and mindset over time could lead to incredible opportunities down the road as I feel my heart pulling me towards a certain path.  This doesn’t mean I’ll become a Yes Man or that I’ll blindly agree to anything.  It means that when a situation or opportunity arises I’ll pay more attention to my heart and not let my head assume authority, because no matter if good or bad things occur on the journey, the reward comes from being able to confidently know that the path I’m choosing is authentically mine.