Matt Himself

One thing I’m proud of is the completion of my Duke MBA this past December. There are several reasons for this including:

• Taking on the intense pressure of the MBA while also working full-time
• Gaining new international experiences by traveling to 4 continents (and seeing 2 Wonders of the World in the Great Wall and Taj Mahal)
• Befriending and learning from a diverse student cohort

However, what sticks out to me isn’t just the MBA experience itself but also the events and lessons I gained leading up to me pursuing the MBA in the first place.

None of It Was Supposed to Happen the Way It Did

If you were to ask me what I think about college and graduate programs in general, I’d say they aren’t worth the exorbitant cost unless you have a very clear plan for why you’re getting it. I’ve had this sentiment for years as I observe many good people succumb to debt and career troubles which is why as recently as late 2016 I would’ve never paid for an MBA without a clear and intentional plan.

For my situation, I was fortunate to be working at a company that offered full tuition reimbursement (with no obligation to stay for a set period post-completion). However, I regularly wrestled with the notion of pursuing an MBA while working due to the extra time and energy I’d have to commit toward it. My thinking in early 2016 towards getting an MBA was either, “maybe one day I’ll reluctantly take advantage of the company’s tuition program for practical reasons” or “I would never do it.“

In April 2016, I was brought in to my Director’s office and told “I didn’t have a future at my company” due to poor performance. This news didn’t blindside me much and I am the first to admit that I struggled in my role at the time. Despite this event, I was offered until the end of the year to figure out my next move whether it was a new job at a new company or pursuing my education further (i.e. getting an MBA full-time).

In my mind, pursuing a full-time MBA was a no-go. I didn’t want to do it just for the sake of it or in the hopes of something good maybe happening as a result and go into extreme debt.

While I was stern in this viewpoint, I had close colleagues (including my Director) in my ear telling me of the benefits of graduate school and how it can work out really well for me. I decided to outwardly go along with the path of pursuing a full-time MBA even though internally I felt it wasn’t for me. With that being said, I took the application process one step at a time starting with the GMAT exam under the guise of going full-time. I knew its scores were good for 5 years so I had nothing really to lose minus some time dedicated toward studying. I told myself, “I’ll just complete this step and go from there. I won’t do an MBA right away but at least I’ll have this test done should I change my mind within 5 years.” This led to me studying and subsequently scoring very well on the GMAT exam by November 2016 which would allow me to apply to top programs and enroll full-time in 2017.

Soon after I completed the exam, it was time for year-end performance reviews with my company. In a turn of events, my Director informed me that I turned things around significantly over the past 6 months to the point that the company wanted to keep me on board. Now I had employment for the foreseeable future along with a high scoring GMAT score.

In early 2017, I had the option of pursuing an MBA while working as a result of my good performance (I even got promoted during this time period). This would allow me to earn the benefits of tuition reimbursement while getting a prestigious degree. As I continued to listen to colleagues, friends, and family, I half-reluctantly figured I’d at least apply to a program and go from there. I remember not being stressed out about getting accepted because it wasn’t something I had planned to do anyway.

Fast forward a few months and I had identified and got accepted to the only program I applied to which was at Duke University. The MBA program I specifically entered had a strong international component to it and made me genuinely interested and eager to be a part of it after learning what it had to offer.

Looking back there were several unique circumstances that had to occur for me to embark on the MBA journey I went on:

• I had to do poorly enough in my job to the point I was told in April 2016 I would be let go by the end of the year
• I had to have caring colleagues and peers who would offer advice and perspective. I also had to be flexible enough to listen despite my staunch personal beliefs.
• I had to be at a company that offered a very strong tuition reimbursement program (having to personally pay or contractually stay at the company would have been barriers for me)
• I had to subsequently do well enough to turn my performance around and thus become eligible for the company’s reimbursement program.
  
  

Takeaways

With such an odd journey toward pursuing my MBA, I observe a few key takeaways:

• Be flexible and open to others’ opinions. This doesn’t mean you have to abandon your beliefs, but if you have people around you who respect and want what’s best for you – at least listen.
• Take things one step at a time. If I knew the end result of 2016 would be me performing well at my company to the point I’d be staying there, I wouldn’t have taken the GMAT or gone to grad school. Instead, I took things step by step starting with the GMAT; making no promises that I’d go full-time. You won’t always know how things will pan out
  so it’s alright to do what’s best for you based on the given information you have at any point in time.
• Push Yourself. Simply put, the rigor and intensity I had in 2017 and 2018 helped build my character and confidence. I was able to perform well both academically and professionally taking on an MBA and full-time work, but the “hard work” and “time and energy commitments” made pursuing this path a no-go for me in the past. You don’t always know what you’re capable of until you put that pressure on yourself.

“Around the time that he reached the unnerving milestone of turning thirty, Leonardo da Vinci wrote a letter to the ruler of Milan listing the reasons he should be given a job. … In the first ten paragraphs, he touted his engineering skills, including his ability to design bridges, waterways, cannons, armored vehicles, and public buildings.  Only in the eleventh paragraph, at the end, did he add that he was also an artist.  “Likewise in painting, I can do everything possible,” he wrote.”

The passage above is an excerpt from Leonardo da Vinci by Walter Isaacson, a biographical study I’ve recently picked up that offers insight into the Renaissance man’s life and work.  I consider Leonardo a role model in many respects; not because of any one particular field he excelled in but for the fact that he was able to masterfully contribute to so many diverse endeavors within his lifetime.  It’s remarkable that painting, likely the most common association with Leonardo, was merely a brief footnote in his mind compared to everything else in his repertoire per his letter above.  I find it awe-inspiring that he could accomplish so much and I’ve regularly wondered what enabled him to do so.  This book offers insights into the inner workings of Leonardo’s mind and the external influences surrounding him in order to show how others can incorporate the valuable insights from his life into their own.

As I read every couple of chapters from this book, I’ll provide a high level synopsis of the information I gather and attempt to distill both the main takeaways and possible recommendations for how to act upon them.  My hope is that this will allow myself and others to actively use the lessons from Walter Isaacson’s in-depth analysis to better improve our own lives.

Part I will be focused on the first two chapters of the book which are titled Childhood and Apprentice.

Chapter I: Childhood

• Summary:  Leonardo had a variety of circumstances in his childhood, many of which could have been seen in a negative light at the time, that shaped who he was and fostered his creative and imaginative spirit.  He was an illegitimate child of his father – who was a notary and came from a proud lineage of notaries.  Fortunately, he lived in a place and time where bastards were not publicly shamed as they once were.  Also by not being a legitimate son, Leonardo did not have societal pressure to follow in the footsteps of his father’s profession and could pursue what he wished.  Furthermore, he did not receive much formal education (again as a result of being an illegitimate son) which allowed his mind to be free from the common orthodoxies of the time period and instead became a “disciple of experience.”  Leonardo as a child also displayed an insatiable curiosity and sense of wonder for the world by vividly observing and imagining the natural countryside of his hometown of Vinci.  This curiosity and observation would remain throughout his life and greatly influence his creative work.

• Recommendations/Reflections:  Consider the influences, events, and circumstances in your own life and see how they have positively shaped who you are today.  Do not however, fall in to the trap of seeing the negative of your situation; Leonardo had many things about him which could have been seen as an obstacle or hindrance in his time (he was illegitimate, not formally educated, left handed, easily bored and distracted, and more) but instead are seen as a positive.  Doing an inventory of the experiences that shaped who you are can provide greater appreciation and understanding for one’s own situation and life direction.  As a brief example in my own life, a childhood experience that has influenced me includes:
  • Growing up in a military family resulted in many moves in my childhood both in the US and abroad.  These travel experiences as a kid have given me a better appreciation for both the differences and similarities found in all of humanity.  I truly believe everyone is connected and that there is no clear right or wrong – just different perspectives.  I feel this has enabled me to better connect and relate with people of nearly any background in some capacity.

Chapter II: Apprentice

• Summary:  Leonardo took inspiration and knowledge from many things around him – both directly and indirectly.  A direct example includes: being an apprentice to the Florentine artist Verrocchio, whose workshop regularly provided a creative atmosphere filled with artists and merchants working their craft.  Indirectly, Leonardo took inspiration by virtue of living in Florence, a vibrant city that was a hub of innovation, science, arts, and commerce.  It was through this broad reaching exposure that Leonardo could play with various ideas and theories across a range of disciplines and find ways to combine them which fed his curiosity.

• Recommendations/Reflections:  Leonardo not only had a variety of external experiences surrounding him as sources of inspiration, he was also very open to receiving such inspiration internally.  Both needed to happen to have the level of impact in ended up having on his life and work.  It is important to intentionally design your life where you can be an apprentice of sorts.  This can include directly finding a mentor who can guide and teach you in a certain area of life or acquiring relevant knowledge via books, online, or other mediums.  Also consider the impact that one’s living environment plays in regards to inspiring ideas and experiences.  Consider the culture, people, and atmosphere that any given location can offer to you.  You may not know what exactly can be gained by being in a creative location, but immersing yourself wherever you are gives you a chance to potentially experience something impactful.  Lastly, remember to be receptive to your surroundings and experiences – this will allow you to see opportunities that others may easily miss.

It’s Sunday night and I’m back at my apartment following a 5 day Thanksgiving vacation back home with my family.  The next writing prompt goes over what I believe people around me thank me for.  To go with the holiday spirit, I’d also like to write about what I myself am thankful for.

Note: This post may be very brief and not as thought out as my previous two posts.  The point here is to simply create and put something online and to be okay with that.  I’d like to remove any potential barriers and excuses I may tell myself that will prevent me from building a great writing habit.

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What People Thank Me For

One of the things I feel people appreciate and thank me for is my ability to listen and empathize.  Whether it’s family, friends, coworkers, or strangers, I try to make it a point to understand where someone is coming from and to appreciate the moment and experience we are having.  This allows me to be actively engaged and to identify parts of my life that are similar to what a person is sharing.  This tends to then lead to more in-depth conversations allowing for further understanding of both our differences and similarities.  This ability grants me the opportunity to build positive relationships based on fun, empathy, and the sharing of wisdom/advice.

My positivity and humor is another characteristic that people enjoy and appreciate.  Overall, I tend to be in a positive mood when interacting with the world.  Whether it’s joking around or seeing the bright side of something, people generally will expect a positive source of energy when I’m around.  I take pride in this because for all the perceived negativity in the world, it feels good to know that the people in my life can count on me to be a source of positivity.  (As I’m writing this, I’m noting to myself that my ability to be warm and happy to the external world can and should be used internally when needed.)

Another thing I’d like to add is a quality/trait that I don’t hear too often from others which is the pride/inspiration some feel when they see my life from their perspective.  What I mean by this is that from an external standpoint, I have had people mention that they are proud or inspired by me because I seem “to have things figured out.”  This usually comes from people’s perception of my surface-level life situation (good job/income, independent, young, intelligent, not tied down by any serious situations) or when I share ideas and advice that may come across as “wise beyond my years.”  I want to note this not because I hear this often (I don’t – at least not directly) or because I feel my life is awesome and inspiring (I definitely don’t – although I might benefit from appreciating my self more often).  I’m noting this because this serves as a reminder of what effect I can have on others by making myself as strong as I can be.  While on the surface people may see how I live, act, and behave as a source of pride and inspiration, this effect could be exponentially more powerful if I continue to grow and improve my internal world.  By continuing on this journey of self-development and actualization, and holding myself accountable towards taking action and improving at a good pace, I can design a great life and be the person I want to be.  Doing so will give people around me, especially the ones I’m close with, genuine inspiration that won’t just be a surface-level perception unaligned with my internal world.  Instead it will be a authentic source that people can see, hear, and feel because I am truly aligned and happy with my being and I want to share that with others.

What I think this all ladders up to is connection (which is one of my core values) – embracing people, moments, and experiences in the world with open arms, and a genuine desire to understand and appreciate them.

What I Am Thankful For

On the flip side, I can list many things that I am thankful for in my life.  While I admit I don’t always have a sense of gratitude and appreciation top of mind, I have worked on improving this mindset no matter the situation I am in.  A few things I’m thankful for include:

• My friends and family
• My upbringing and environment
• My mind and body

I mentioned above some things people thank me for, but this appreciation goes both ways.  I am fortunate to have been surrounded by people who care for me and want to see me do well in life – and I was reminded of this by being with my friends and family over the holiday.  Everything from my friends, family, environment, and upbringing have been conducive to where I am today and my ability to move forward in a positive direction.  My mind and body being generally healthy is also worth being thankful for because it is easy to take things for granted when you don’t really know what it’s like to not have it.  Sure, I’ve had my share of negative past experiences, adversity, and regrets, but when it comes to the bigger picture I have a lot of great things to be thankful for (I almost feel a little upset that I haven’t been aware in expressing my thanks enough to others, but the point of this is to be happy and to keep this in mind moving forward 🙂 ).

I think a common thread between these things is that I have been given the luxury of opportunity.  I haven’t had extreme traumas, burdens, or obstacles that couldn’t be overcome.  While I’ve thought that an unintentional consequence of having a positive, comfortable upbringing and situation is that it has led me to being complacent and weaker in certain areas (self-discipline and drive as examples), I should actually view this in another light.  I should see this as a blessing and motivation to do great things for myself and others.  No one should be at fault for being kind and caring towards me, nor should it be a crutch that I have a comfortable living situation without severe adversities holding me down.

In fact, I should be grateful that I am writing this post and talking about the good in my life.  What a luxury it is to have my problems!  To not have to worry about: food, illness, money, supporting a family, or losing a loved one and instead worry about: my life purpose, dream career, and passions (HA! It’s hilariously pathetic in a way).  What a luxury indeed.  This is all the more reason why I should be grateful and happy with where I am now and motivated towards taking right action.  I owe it to  not just myself but to everyone around me that has given me this opportunity.  I’m in a much better position than most to be the best version of myself and if somehow I feel that I’m at a disadvantage because of my great upbringing (as I have sometimes thought to myself) then it is on me to view it in a proactive way and do whatever is necessary to grow and be strong.

Life is good.  People thank me for being who I am, and I am thankful for everyone and everything that made it possible.  One of the best gifts I can give to express my gratitude is to take full advantage of the opportunities in front of me and to be happy and appreciative to others while doing it.

Until next time,

-Matt

It’s been a minute since my last post.  I originally was going to have my first several posts be tied to the Live Your Legend blog challenge, but I’ll save those topics for times when I don’t have something to share.  Instead, today I’d like to write about my spontaneous camping and hiking trip out west to the Shenandoah National Park and some of the insights I gained from the experience.

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I’m back home after a pretty crazy 24 hours…

Yesterday morning I woke up and felt the urge to go outside and explore nature.  I’ve had a lot on my mind lately in regards to things like my career and future, both short and long-term, and it seemed that getting away into nature would be a great way to reground myself.  It’s starting to get pretty chilly in Richmond, but the sky was clear and I knew there would only be a few decent weeks left to be in the outdoors so I began to see assess my options.  My Googling eventually came across information on the Shenandoah National Park and Skyline Drive, areas about two hours west from me and well-known for their scenic mountain views.  After looking at some images of these places I said to myself, “it would sure be nice to go out there and spend some time away from it all – maybe some other weekend.”  I naturally and habitually was able to know that I wasn’t actually going to act upon what I had a desire to do!  There were of course countless rationalizations I could have provided on why it made no sense to travel on my own to the mountains and be in nature, but the fact that those didn’t even need to come up is telling.  Has it become such a habit for me to yearn to do something and not follow through that I didn’t even make a big deal about this instance?  If not now, when!?  Was this feeling to be in nature and reground myself not really important?

Anyway, after deciding what was definitely NOT going to happen on my weekend, I started to go about my day until I quickly received a call.  It was my friend, Caleb.  He was on his way to go camping and needed to stop in Richmond for gas and figured we could grab a drink and catch up while he was in the city.  I agreed and we ended up meeting at a pub down the street from my apartment.  We enjoyed catching up on things while downing a couple beers and started to talk about topics such as careers, relationships, and personal development.  I learned that Caleb also had a lot going on in his mind and was heading out west past Charlottesville to camp out in the mountains and unplug from society for a moment.  I also learned that he was going to the Shenandoah National Park and Skyline Drive area – the very same spots I was thinking about just a couple hours earlier – and he asked if I wanted to join.

I couldn’t believe the chances.  What kind of sign was this that an opportunity like this would present itself?  My mind’s defenses began to kick in with every reason why not to go:

• I need to get my shit together with work and my future
• The Virginia Tech game is on at 3:30
• I need to rest up and prepare for next week
• I can be productive by writing on my blog, reading, and doing personal development by staying home
• I can’t go now – I’m not prepared.  It’s going to be cold, dark, and uncomfortable

I was really on the fence about this, but I just couldn’t say no outright.  My mind was quick to point out why I shouldn’t go, but something else in me just wouldn’t give up.  Whatever this part was – my heart, intuition, whatever – it couldn’t get over the coincidence and fortune that presented itself to me and that I needed to go – so I said yes.

To conclude the trip itself, it ended up being fun, insightful, physically demanding, uncomfortable, exhausting, exhilarating, peaceful, reflective, and more.  Some of the events that occurred include:

• Getting to the mountain as the sun was setting and needing to find and set up a camp before dark.  We had no time to be picky with our site and ended up setting a tent on a cliff off the path
• Creating a pretty epic fireplace
• Deep reflecting in solitude in the woods
• Me suffering in the tent through the night in below-freezing temperatures.  (Lesson learned: sleeping outside next to a fire is better than sleeping in a tent built on top of a cold slab of stone, also get a sleeping bag).
• Hiking up a summit and seeing amazing views of Virginia’s mountains

With that being said, here are some insights and lessons I gained from this experience that I’d like to keep moving forward:

Going with my intuition and heeding the call to adventure

Lately I’ve been researching the power of following one’s intuition and this experience was definitely an example of me following my own.  This experience also ties well to the concept of the Hero’s Journey and how the hero must decide whether or not to heed the call to adventure (hint: the hero should heed the call).

The feeling and knowledge of following my intuition trumps any form of logic that would try to dissuade me from listening to it.  Even when it was cold, dark, and uncomfortable, I still had the awareness to tell myself that this was a great thing to live through.  What’s funny is that all of the so-called “bad” things that I told myself would happen DID happen.  It was tiring, I didn’t get to be at home potentially working on productive things, and the temperature was so cold I couldn’t feel half my body.  In fact, it was hands down one of the most uncomfortable sleeping experiences I’ve had in a long time AND THAT WAS COMPLETELY FINE!  Following my intuition meant that even an extremely negative thing were to happen I would still be confident that I made the right decision for myself.

The Power of Isolation and Solitude

In The Way of the Superior Man, David Deida writes in depth of the importance for a man to restore his purpose by being in solitude, challenging situations, and/or in the company of other men.  A man who is able to eliminate distractions and live at his edge is a man who can experience masculine growth and realignment.

I can attest to what Deida writes based on my time in the wilderness.  The challenges of trying to survive the cold and endure a hike up to a summit allowed me to push towards my edge.  The awe of seeing landscapes that have existed well before me and will continue to exist long after I’m gone put a lot of things into perspective.  The small, petty things that tend to occupy my mind really have no value, and it is necessary to remember the big picture in terms of purpose and the wonder of existence.

To wrap up, what I hope to gain from this is a solid reference experience on what can happen when I choose to follow my intuition.  Regardless of the particular event, decision, or adventure, I want to habitualize trusting my self and not being afraid to go against logic or reason.  I can imagine that cultivating this behavior and mindset over time could lead to incredible opportunities down the road as I feel my heart pulling me towards a certain path.  This doesn’t mean I’ll become a Yes Man or that I’ll blindly agree to anything.  It means that when a situation or opportunity arises I’ll pay more attention to my heart and not let my head assume authority, because no matter if good or bad things occur on the journey, the reward comes from being able to confidently know that the path I’m choosing is authentically mine.

 

I’ll preface by saying that I’m not the type of person who gets really riled up over things.  If my friends, family, and acquaintances were asked to describe me, I’m sure adjectives such as: angry, mean, and pissed wouldn’t even show up on the list.  When it comes to confrontations I tend to avoid them.  Part of this is due to the fact that the majority of them are petty and I don’t see the expenditure of time, energy, or potential friendships worthwhile.  Another reason is that I understand my views are just my own, singular perspective mostly formed from my own experiences and that rarely are topics black and white.  A person or group could have a radically different opinion on a matter and I’d realize that I can’t pass judgment on them since I haven’t walked in their shoes.

With that being said, I do have my own set of beliefs and paradigms of how the world is or should be and I’ll share a couple of them in this post.  I also acknowledge that I am by no means perfect and the items I’ve listed below don’t exclude me.  I’m also on a journey and continually working to get better – my hope is that more people will do the same.  So here are a couple of angry things about the world that come to mind:

• The adverse effects of modern society and social conditioning

We live in a great time – arguably one of the most peaceful and prosperous periods of human history.  Technology, medicine, and social change are just a few of the things that have made this day and age great.  Sure, the world isn’t perfect (and it will never be depending on your definition of “perfect”) and while the 24/7 news might make you think otherwise, we should all be appreciative to be living in such a time.

However, despite the obvious benefits, our current ways of living have created severe, unintended consequences for how people think, feel, act, and perceive the world around them.  Very few people are aware of how their minds have been affected by influences such as: other people, media, culture, and technology and to be honest this is to be expected.   The adverse effects of society and social conditioning are so pervasive and integrated with how we’re brought up that they’re practically invisible.

Examples include:

• Misconceptions of how reality works such as what it takes to accomplish goals or dreams (i.e. focusing on the end result and not seeing and appreciating the journey it takes to get there)
• A lack of sustained focus
• False, ego-based notions on how to achieve happiness (i.e. money, material possessions, fame, recreation) which has led to more depression
• Clinging to comfort and a desire for instant gratification

I’d also like to state that I’m not angry at people here.  I don’t immediately judge people to be intentionally blind nor do I believe there is a nefarious plot conducted by some New World Order.  What I’m angry about is that the system we have built for ourselves, while positive in many ways, has unintended consequences and people aren’t able to see or be aware of it.

We have less wars, famines, and physical slavery, but we’ve replaced them with more depression, inattention, instant gratification, and mental slavery.  I’m certainly not alone on these opinions and I’ve built some of this perspective by learning from others.  What I’d like to see is more conscious awareness of this and then have us all collectively improve each other and the world with this knowledge.

• A lack of mainstream education on truth, life, and consciousness

This ties to to the previous point above and I believe is not given anywhere near the priority and importance it deserves.  Technology has allowed people from all over the world to connect and share great ideas on topics such as these, but these instances are few and far between.

Ideas such as: presence, consciousness, enlightenment, purpose, and self-actualization have been relegated to private hobbies, niche interests, or labeled as BS.  If people could take a step back and begin to realize the big picture of their lives, so many of today’s ailments and issues would go away.  People would see how petty and insignificant a lot of their problems are.  They’d have a better understanding of their false perceptions of the self, their ego, and ultimately what it takes to live a life full of meaning, contribution, and happiness.

Imagine if in schools we could teach kids to identify their values, have a better understanding of reality, meditate, and see how interconnected we are with others.  As they got older I bet they’d be better equipped for life and not get as caught up in the petty shit we humans tend to fall in.  I’d like to think they’d also have a better chance at true, sustainable happiness because they’d have their authentic values and priorities straight.

Conclusion

I’ve listed just a couple of things about the world that make me “angry” and I’m sure I coud go into much more detail.  The two points I mentioned are heavy topics and I don’t claim to have all the answers – but these are opinions I’ve developed through much contemplation, research, and direct experience.  As I continue on my journey I may modify or enhance them, but I hope concepts such as these will be brought forward and allow people to discuss and form their own perspectives on the subject.  I must admit it feels good to get these ideas written down and begin to articulate them in a clearer way.  Perhaps I’ll write other posts that elaborate on them further, but for now I’m glad to have just posted something!

– Matt

Often times the hardest part of any endeavor is to just start…

I’m beginning this blog based on the advice of the Live Your Legend team and how a habit such as writing can lead to incredible things for someone over time.  Specifically one of the main things I hope to get out of this journey is to discover what I’m passionate about and ultimately turn that into a career I love.

As someone who has spent a lot of time contemplating the direction and purpose of his life, I have realized that one of the best methods of self-discovery is to take action and experience life firsthand.  While I believe I have lots of deep ideas, thoughts, and concepts about life, keeping them stuck in your head ends up serving no one.  With this blog I’d like to get in the habit of creating things and bringing them in to the real world – even if it initially ends up being a journal for my eyes only.  Over time, I may improve my writing skills which will allow me to share what I have to offer in an articulate way that is accessible for others.

I’ll begin my first series of posts by completing a 7 Day Start-A-Blog challenge (this is the Day 1 prompt) from the LYL team.  This should help build momentum with my writing habit and allow for consistency.

Until next time,

-Matt

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